Tag: comments

Tulsi Gabbard Has Some ‘Splaining To Do

Here’s a 10 Year Challenge for you: think about how problematic you were 10 years ago. I know this week I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m going to start this article with talking about myself and reflecting on my own problematic past views. 10 years ago, there were lots of problematic things that I did, including but not limited to my use of too much eyeliner. Writing about my really problematic views is hard because it means exposing a more ignorant version of myself. The first view I had was that I was “okay” with people in the LGBTQ community, so long as they were acting straight around me. The second view I had was that it was totally okay as a white girl to say the N word, so long as it was only when I was singing along with rap songs. I know, I’m cancelled from the Democratic Party.

Oof, okay, that’s off my chest. The thing is, people do change over the course of 10 years. Until I got to know people in the LGBTQ community I was just mimicking a narrative around me that most people I knew shared. It wasn’t really my own. I thought it was totally okay to say the N word when I was rapping along with songs until someone pointed out that it was really out of line. I was mortified. Experiences are what make people learn and grow. I’m not that person anymore. I’m hoping in 10 years to not be this same person, either.

This week Tulsi Gabbard learned the hard way that who you were years ago can come back to haunt you. Gabbard issued an apology after a story broke that she previously worked for a group that supported gay conversion therapy. In her apology video, Gabbard states: “First, let me say I regret the positions I took in the past, and the things I said. I’m grateful for those in the LGBTQ+ community who have shared their aloha with me throughout my personal journey.” Honestly, that resonates with me. I understand that for myself it took spending time with people in the LGBTQ community to understand that they are seriously not different from me, they just have better skin. That being said, her apology kind of falls flat for me.

Never in my life have I thought that people in the LGBTQ community could be “converted” to be straight people. Maybe that is because my community that I was mimicking didn’t believe in it. Maybe it’s because my community had never heard of it. But I’d like to believe that it’s because even though at one point I thought LGBTQ people made me uncomfortable, I never thought they were fundamentally wrong. I also had those views at a younger age than Gabbard, who was 21 when she boasted about those views in 2002. It took her 10 years to finally make a statement that she supported the LGBTQ community in 2012 when she was up for election. Now, nearly 7 years later, Gabbard is apologizing because she is running for president. Apologies issued once you’ve been caught are seldom genuine. I can think of many times in my life (mostly in my teenage years) that I apologized for something I didn’t really feel bad about, just embarrassed that I was caught.

Our commenter hit the nail on the head for me and actually isn’t particularly problematic. Actually, I struggled to find a comment on the Facebook post by CNN that was problematic, but I wanted to tackle the subject anyway. It did raise the question about the Democratic Party and purism. The Democrats have a problem with ousting newcomers who aren’t “perfect” candidates. Sure, the Schumers and Pelosis and Obamas and Clintons of the Democratic Party can have all the flaws they want, but new blood has to be perfect and free of flaws. Their ideals must have been Democratic since conception, they can never have said the N word while rapping along with a song in the car. Hell, at the rate the Democrats vilify their new blood, I’m afraid any Democrat who ever stepped foot in South Carolina may be subject to a Huffpost headline: Freshman Congressperson Visited South Carolina in 2013: How Racist Are They Really?

Tulsi Gabbard’s past views are concerning. She has a lot of work to do to convince me that she ought to be POTUS and that she’s really “changed” for the better. That being said, the Democratic Party has to start recognizing that their base is not just democratic purists who have never had to grow because they’ve been perfect since conception. We all have pasts, we all have flaws, we’ve all grown.

At What Point is it OK to Make Jokes About Someone Dying? (Probably Never)

After a very small hiatus from writing sparked by mostly reasonable or otherwise deemed untouchable comments, I found a comment this morning that made me sit down and write.

Source

Yesterday, Fox News host was made to apologize for an error on the part of Fox News: the network shared a graphic that suggested that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died. (See above.) South Carolina’s The State reported the story yesterday morning after the apology had been issued. They included the following apologies:

“We need to apologize,” host Steve Doocy said, The Washington Examiner reported. “That was a mistake, that was an accident. We believe she is still at home recovering from surgery.”

“This was a technical error that emanated from the graphics team.” a Fox News spokesperson wrote in an email.

https://www.thestate.com/news/nation-world/national/article224855785.html?fbclid=IwAR3vI-EouPQq-Y5CtZcyRw5KBgCM7VwCVkiI24-Q9H8q9lbP8QPV9tlTMwU

After all the apologies, the issue was handled for me. Sure, I rolled my eyes that somehow it was a “technical error” and I scoffed at the “we believe she’s okay” statement, but otherwise it was handled in my eyes. Until I went to the comments where this articles commenter showed their belly. Oy.

So here I am, enjoying a perfectly normal morning. I felt like there should be more angry reacts to the comment than there were. I like to think of these as learning moments, so I decided to take a moment to discuss the title: when IS it okay to joke about someone’s death? The answer is: probably never. Probably is the word I want to fix on.

To talk about myself for a little bit, my sense of humor is dry and macabre. I often joke about my own death. My therapist says I’m really good at radical acceptance, which is nice because otherwise my therapist has a long list of things I could work on. To me, death is just something that is inevitable and totally normal and not something I fear because no matter what other plans I make that is the only thing I can guarantee is going to come my own way. The thing is, I only joke about my own death. Not my friends or loved ones, hell, not even political figures. See, it’s totally normal to talk about the death of someone, but to joke about it casts a gross light on the person making a joke.

Martin Luther King JR was murdered 50 years ago. Just because it’s out of reach for many viewers on social media threads doesn’t mean it’s okay to joke about. Justice Ginsburg is still alive, it’s not okay to joke about her death, especially as she recovers from lung cancer. So unless you’re talking about your own death, stay away from snarky jokes about the deaths of others.